Touch Myself Christmas Jumper

Description

Rugby Christmas Jumper, When I Think Of You I Touch Myself

You read the line, you clocked the punchline, and you grinned before you could stop yourself. It is the festive sweater that touches the rugby ball, every single time, with full innocence and zero apology.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "I am super pleased with this shirt. It was delivered really quickly and looks the same as advertised. I'm very tall and was really pleased with the length of the shirt." (Barry T.)

With 1,800+ verified reviews, our previous buyers say we supply great quality clothing and provide first-class customer service, so go ahead and order with confidence.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "This is my 3rd purchase. All 3 are great quality. Definitely recommend." (Cheryl T.)

• Thick 280gsm, 80% ringspun cotton and 20% polyester.
• Generous fit.
• Soft cotton-faced fabric. Warm as toast.
• Great for the Christmas do or a cold day on the side.
• Taped neck for comfort.
• Twin-needle stitching for strength.
• WRAP certified. No sweatshops.

Printed in the UK. Go ahead and select your colour and size above.

Shipping starts from £3.89 (UK). Exact rates show at checkout.

Rugby Christmas Jumper With A Double Meaning

The whole gag rides on the picture. Read the line on its own and it sounds filthy, then the rugby ball lands in your eyeline and you realise you are the one with the dirty mind. That double-take is the entire point, and it lands hardest on the player who lives and breathes the game all year round. He genuinely is thinking about the ball. You are the one who jumped to the other conclusion, and the jumper knows it. There is a small, smug satisfaction in wearing a line that catches people out, then watching them backtrack when the ball clicks into place. Printed on a thick 280gsm sweatshirt, it carries the wind-up through a full December of parties without losing its shape, so the trap is still springing at the last do of the month. The cleaner the wearer plays it, the better the joke works.

The Thinking Behind The Double-Take

Innuendo only works when it is innocent on paper, and this one is squeaky clean the second you see the ball. Nothing in the words is actually rude. The rudeness is supplied entirely by the reader, which is why it always gets a reaction. It flatters the wearer as cheeky rather than crude, exactly the post-match singsong tone the rugby crowd lives for, where the joke is suggested and never spelled out. We finish it with a high-definition print so the gag stays sharp and the reveal stays clean wash after wash, the line readable from across the room. It is the kind of thing that gets read out loud at the bar, twice, the second time slower, just to watch the faces change as the penny drops. The player wearing it keeps a straight face throughout, which only makes the whole thing funnier.

Rugby Christmas Jumper That Gets It Right

A festive jumper has one job at a rugby Christmas do, and that is to start the laughing before the first round even lands. This one does it with a single look and a slow grin, worn by the player who would rather be remembered than tasteful. It works the family lunch and the club bash equally well, because the reaction depends on the reader, not the room. Printed in the UK on a soft, cotton-faced 280gsm body, it is built for repeat outings across the whole season, not a single wear and a wash. It stays warm on a cold morning by the side and keeps its mischief going at the bar after. For the clubmate who shares this exact sense of humour, the rest of our funny rugby gifts are well worth a look.

Rugby Christmas Jumper FAQ

What is this Christmas jumper made from and how is it printed?

This rugby Christmas jumper is a thick 280gsm sweatshirt in 80% ringspun cotton and 20% polyester with a soft cotton-faced inside. The double-meaning design is printed with a high-definition finish that stays crisp and will not crack or fade through repeated festive wears.

How does the jumper fit and what size should I get?

This Christmas jumper has a generous fit and runs true to standard sizing across XS to 5XL. If you want room to layer for a cold matchday, take your usual size, and check the measurements before ordering rather than sizing up unnecessarily.

When does it ship and can the design be personalised?

Your jumper is printed and dispatched within 1 to 2 production days, with UK delivery usually arriving 1 to 3 days later. The double-meaning design is a fixed print and cannot be personalised, so it lands exactly as shown, ball and all.

Who is this cheeky double-meaning Christmas jumper for?

It suits the rugby obsessive whose mind is cleaner than it looks, and who enjoys watching everyone else assume the worst. It makes a sharp gift for the clubmate who never misses a wind-up, and a knowing bit of mischief for the player happy to be the talking point at the Christmas do.